If you can read this I found an agent
A good one
But even if I didn’t I was going to self publish
I wrote many books, and am still writing.
I am in high schools and middle schools and elementary schools talking to youth
I am in love with myself
I am so in love.
I am in awe of my children
who never cease to amaze me
by simply being themselves
I am not so called, crazy.
All of the things I imagined to be, are.
I no longer live with anxiety
of me or my kid being snatched from a public place,
Or that the air will cause cancer and once the shoe drops
it has a choke hold on me or someone I love.
And guns no longer exist,
And are replaced with more houses for the houseless
No more bodies dropping,
succumbing to the weight threatening to crush them
and force them to seek solace in something that might feel good for the moment,
but slowly deteriorates them.
And that the sun does not come down and send us all to the afterlife
The ocean life is loved and respected
Road rage doesn’t kill or exist
Wages are not dependent on labor
8 hour work days no longer exist,
and napping is a habit,
love is abundant,
stress is far from our view,
this life right here is free of capitalism lies
and colonized systems,
all my brothers and sisters are free
Just so I didn't have to
Be the one to hold it all
Though I made it look easy
My back was growing splinters long enough to choke me into breaking
Had I known I was bending
Or could break
These kids can't feed themselves
I've starved for them
Just so they didn't have to be the ones to hold it all
I've starved for me
Because faking satisfaction was better than admitting that I was famished
Breathing actually became more important even if only for a second
A moment where I didn't have to hold it all
But what's a moment to a mommy?