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Fresno Poetics: Mariah Bosch

[I move through a forest cracking ribs]

to make more of her.               All these almost women

but no man to anoint them real. Isn’t that it? How we move

           a dancefloor unanointed, un-manned –

                                                           I see men

           who tried make to me from their ribs

in places they aren’t, in people with different faces.

           Thought I’d double myself in poems

to make more of me. I wanted to speak to me, to see my face

                       seeing my face more clearly. I protect by

           obscuring, to disfigure myself unrecognizable, to make new

versions of the same. I look so ugly-jealous. She sees

           something in me, a pyrite glint set in rocks

she’ll pocket. All over her house, altars. I sit at each one

                       looking. I don’t dream of the dead anymore

           but I’m sure they’re still around. She dreams more, now.

                       I have sat down with each man I loved

to tell them I’ve changed, they appear to me

           with hindsight. In each dream, they sit quiet

and eat to spite me. They fill and fill, I watch. I wanted them

           to multiply me in their image. I wanted them to want

several of me at once and each diverted their gaze, so I found others

                       to bend me in their hands.

When we close

           into each other’s bodies, we seal microdistances,

collapse unrecognizable and dazed in sex in a room

                       of only our breath. I build houses there

to choose from. You can have a room in each one,

           a room for only this closeness, a room for

                                   silence that clings to each tacked frame.

I build houses for she and I with each rib I cracked

                       to make more of her, of each of my ribs

           broke open & emptied of marrow, building houses

                                   we become doors to, opening for the other –

Mariah Bosch

Mariah Bosch is a queer Chicana poet and visual artist from Fresno, CA. She is a graduate of Fresno State’s MFA program in poetry where she worked with Juan Felipe Herrera as a graduate fellow in his Laureate Lab Visual Wordist Studio. Her work can be found on, Hobart, Cosmonauts Avenue, and elsewhere.

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